It's not all I thought it would be.

Being an adult isn’t/hasn’t/wouldn’t be easy at any point in life you find yourself, I guess. I am younger than a 30-year-old, yet living seemingly like one. ARRGGH!!!! Yeah, it feels the way my exclamation may sound to you. I have been living as an adult all this while, apparently the cause of my long writing silence.

Wait!!! Did you also yearn to be an adult during your teens? Well I did, but I don’t remember at what teen age. Can she (my teen-self) now feel what it is like to live as an adult even before you become one? Yes, I think I became one before time, even though I do not know the ideal age to turn into an adult. Are you an adult already?

Okay enough of my ranting, I can’t change my current status “ADULT” I can only live with it. 

I can't quite remember the many reasons why my teen-self wanted to become an adult. Like such funny and ridiculous reasons when I think of them now. Did I have such reasons alone while in my teens? Let’s enjoy some reasons why my teen-self eagerly wanted to become an adult.

So, I had wanted to make all the decisions I make now on my own hence becoming an adult. Just to decide where to go, at what time, with whom, what to wear, what to eat, how/when to speak. Guess what? I still can’t do most of these without permission, so why the rush? I just can’t imagine and accept I brought all this upon myself? Do you relate?

I guess my teen-self may have thought “I will be independent and live alone when I grow.” Can someone inform her that she still lives with her mom? Freedom defined by accommodation doesn’t exist in my life achievements. It’s either I am living away from home due to school (international scholarship), work in the field (out of office), or I am married. There is no way I would be allowed to stay/live/rent on my own. My teen-self didn’t really understand the extent of her family’s “security.” I am sure she didn’t. Someone, kindly explain to her. 

Oh, wow she also wanted to have/make money to spend without restrictions. What made her think adults have money? Yes, I do get money and have a little on me, but I don’t make money. On my side of the world adulthood goes with financial stability, so everybody draws and demands when needed. Unfortunately for her, I do not make nor have money. And oh, there are indirect restrictions known as family pressure and “responsibilities.” 

We all had childhood crushes and wished (childishly) to be with them. Wait! for real? I don’t even know where he is, what he’s doing now, whom he is with. I hundred percent do not want to be with him, who asked her to grow for such a cliché reason? Well she may have liked him, but I don’t, not anymore. Can someone ask her to have him and let me de-adult?

I need a chat with my teen-self for all these not-so-matured-reasons for wanting to be an adult including wanting to be called an adult. Like seriously, it doesn’t even make sense. Who wants to shoulder responsibilities? What is so fun about being called Bikurli (it means “big child” — a direct translation of “adult” in my native language, Dagbani). Well, for her information, I am only called adult when in trouble or neglect my “responsibility.” And hey, I love been called a child it makes me feel protected and catered for. 

I am tired! Are you? Is it fun being an adult? I don’t think it is. What were your excuses for wanting to become an adult? While you are thinking or writing them down, take a deep breath, sip on water, and smile, because are an adult already nothing can change that. LOL. You Matter.

Hamdiatu Yakubu is from Ghana, West Africa. She recently completed her English-language studies at Kirkwood Community College and is currently working as a communication intern and project assistant at a non-governmental organization in her country. She loves nature, cooking, watching movies, languages, writing, and photography.